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Stop Being Fucking Insufferable & Go Look At The Goddamn Eclipse
Let me query you a question: What is the fucking point of being alive? And be honest! Those of you who are married or have kids are gonna say “my kids…
Apr 8
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Your Gay Uncle John
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Stop Being Fucking Insufferable & Go Look At The Goddamn Eclipse
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March 2024
The Ten Years I Tried Not To Live
Ten years ago roundabout today—somewhere around St. Patrick’s Day, or it could have even been St. Patrick’s Day, I no longer remember—I walked out of my…
Mar 29
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Your Gay Uncle John
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The Ten Years I Tried Not To Live
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November 2023
I Blew Up On TikTok & All I Got Was This Seasonal Depression
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away
Nov 9, 2023
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Your Gay Uncle John
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I Blew Up On TikTok & All I Got Was This Seasonal Depression
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August 2023
An Open Letter To The Man Who Stole My Catalytic Converter
May he choke. Unless he really needed it idk.
Aug 22, 2023
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Your Gay Uncle John
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An Open Letter To The Man Who Stole My Catalytic Converter
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April 2023
Madonna's "American Life" Is When We Should Have Known
She predicted everything we're drowning in, & America has never forgiven her.
Apr 26, 2023
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Madonna's "American Life" Is When We Should Have Known
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December 2022
The Two Main Ingredients Are Molasses & Regret
Christmas cookies that manifest healing, or something
Dec 24, 2022
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The Two Main Ingredients Are Molasses & Regret
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Not Now, Birthday
Really? Now? But Like, RIGHT NOW?
Dec 5, 2022
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Your Gay Uncle John
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Not Now, Birthday
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November 2022
Election? What Election? Never Heard of Her!
I Am Dissociating My Way Through the Midterms, And So Can You!
Nov 8, 2022
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Your Gay Uncle John
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Election? What Election? Never Heard of Her!
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September 2022
I Shall Sup Upon the Blood of My Enemies and Taste Vengeance
I stopped eating sugar a week and a half ago and it has completely changed my life, in the sense that I am filled with a bottomless rage that can only…
Sep 22, 2022
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Your Gay Uncle John
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I Shall Sup Upon the Blood of My Enemies and Taste Vengeance
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The Real Housewives of "Don't Worry Darling"
I Haven't Felt This Alive In Years
Sep 7, 2022
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The Real Housewives of "Don't Worry Darling"
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May 2022
I Went All The Way To Colorado To Dissociate From Dealing With Life and All I Got Was the Consequences of My Actions
"Getting What You Deserve Isn't Fair!" --Julia Roberts, My Best Friend's Wedding
May 27, 2022
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I Went All The Way To Colorado To Dissociate From Dealing With Life and All I Got Was the Consequences of My Actions
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From the Archives -- Everyone Is Failing at #Resist Except Me, and You Can Too!
Smooth Brain Gazette Vol. 7, But From the Archives Because I Am Unstable
May 6, 2022
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Your Gay Uncle John
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From the Archives -- Everyone Is Failing at #Resist Except Me, and You Can Too!
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